The Joys of Blackmail
by 2Padfoot00Moony7
Summary: Sirius see’s something he’s not supposed to. And poor old Remus gets blackmailed with only one, unthinkable alternative. RLSB, slight AU,


**The Joys of Blackmail. **

I sigh, flicking my head side to side and watching as the rain drops fleck the door in front of me. My instincts are screaming to run, to run and never look back. But I raise my fist to knock all the same.

I chicken out at the last moment however, and my hand falls lifelessly back to my side; I'm not quite ready to face my friends, not just yet. Not after last night at any rate.

Nervously, I take a deep breath. Panic is starting to flare, expanding and rising inside my chest. Cutting off my breathing, restricting my heart beat -

"Remus! What're you standing out here in the rain for?" Sirius exclaims as he flings the door back and leans casually against the frame, looking excruciatingly gorgeous as he does so.

Forcing a smile onto my frozen face and trying not to stare, I clear my throat but say nothing. I'm well aware that my voice will break the minute I speak.

"Who is it Sirius?" A voice bawls from some-where inside. James probably.

"Just Remus!" Sirius bawls back, rolling his eyes at the same time.

He ushers me inside and I take a small step over the thresh-hold, trying to prepare myself for my friend's reactions, sure that Sirius will have already told them what he saw last night. "Er-" I attempt to talk again, but soon give up when my voice comes out several octaves higher than normal.

Sirius smirks, eyeing me carefully. "I didn't tell them if that's what you're wondering," he says offhandedly, his eyebrows lifting.

Heart throbbing almost painfully, I force myself to meet his eyes, "Er- Didn't tell them what?" I try to frown but my muscles seem locked in place.

"What I saw you doing last night…" Sirius murmurs, leaning over my shoulder to shut the door behind me. "I mean, I assumed you'd want to do that."

I nod uncomfortably, more aware than I should be that Sirius is just inches away, his body angled towards me…

"What the bloody hell's taking so long?" James demands, his head peering round the corner of the living-room door as he frowns impatiently.

Sirius folds his arms, his gaze level, still on me. "We were just discussing something Prongs, now kindly bugger off before I jinx you."

Muttering darkly under his breath, James' head disappears and once again, it's just me and Sirius. Alone. Together.

"So-" I start, pleased that my voice seems relatively normal. "What are we doing tonight?"

Ignoring me completely, Sirius cocks his head to a side, black hair falling in front of grey eyes, "Keep in mind, my dear Moony, that I have the perfect black mail on you."

I nod briefly, not allowing myself to contemplate all the possibilities Sirius sees. I don't think my nerves would take it. "Um… What if… What if I tell James and Peter now?" I suggest quietly.

Sirius' lips curl in a throaty chuckle, "But you know you won't do that."

We're standing close, too close…

My heart is pounding, blood rushing…

My fists are clenched, jaw set…

I'm glued to the spot, his eyes alone holding me still…

My feet won't move, don't want to move away from _him. _

"What about Lily? Are you going to tell her?" Sirius asks lightly and he seems to get closer. I automatically jerk backwards, smacking my head on the now shut door. The pain seems to register dully in the back of my mind, but I don't notice it.

I make some noise in the back of my throat, shrugging half-heartedly. "She already knows," I manage to say before my voice threatens to break again.

Sirius says nothing, simply gazes at me for a little while longer. He appears to be thinking about something or other and this in itself, pulls me back together.

I grin, lips jerking away from my teeth with a strange reluctance. "Are you attempting to _think _Padfoot?"

Sirius grins too, finally taking a step back and giving me a little breathing room. "Of course not. I was just judging how long it'll take to persuade you to drink tonight." I try not to hear as I start to edge round him, my feet dragging towards the living room. "I mean, you were drinking pretty easily last night after all…" Sirius whispers in my ear as he pushes past and throws himself down onto a sofa.

"Finally decided to show then Moonie Pie?" James twists round to smile at me as I slump down into an arm chair. Peter smiles too, although he looks slightly haggard and tired. I pretend not to notice.

I smile weakly, feeling strangely drained after my encounter with Sirius. "Eventually."

"He's even going to drink without complaint tonight," Sirius says steadily, his eyes still trained on me and me alone.

James' eyebrows shoot into his hair, "Really!?" Peter just gapes; I've had more than one rant about the darkness of drinking to him when we were all back at school.

Keeping my face carefully blank, I shrug. "Unfortunately. Ruins your favourite game mind."

James smirks, "Sirius enjoys 'persuading' you more than I ever did."

"No Lily tonight?" Sirius interrupts quickly, his cheeks slightly flushed. His rather obvious attempt at changing the subject makes me smile to myself. Sirius may like to act dumb but he sure as hell isn't. It's probably a good job that the character he plays can get away with being unsubtle when he's with us; we just ignore him half the time anyway.

"Nah, she's not feeling too good with the pregnancy and everything."

I laugh dryly, "You know, it's still rather strange to think of you and Lily as a _thing.__"_It's still rather weird to see Lily kissing a mouth she once punched on a weekly basis for six years.

Peter sniggers, "And you all call _me _the idiot."

James tutts impatiently. "We're _married, _Remus, _married.__"_

"Yes, I know, I know-" Sirius presses a bottle into my hand, temporarily distracting me. I _really _hate drinking. "…Do I have to?" I moan, glaring at the bottle.

"James, do you know what I saw last night -"

"Never mind," I mutter, hastily forcing the drink down my throat. It burns and I splutter slightly, frowning as I do. Mainly at Sirius.

"-I saw two blokes," Sirius finishes with a vague wave as he hands out bottles to the others.

"Sure Sirius." James downs half of his, smacking his lips together. "You still want to go to that strip club tonight by the way?"

My jaw drops and my eyes narrow. _What!?_

Sirius' eyes flit towards me, and his hands clench reflexively. "Yeah," he says eventually, "Why not. It's something friends do together after all. We can go and admire the girls and the -"

"Sirius," I hiss through my teeth, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Sirius nods, "Go right ahead."

I jump up and grab his wrist, tugging him into the kitchen without so much as glancing at James. "No," I say when we're alone again, "Absolutely _no way.__"_

Sirius leans against the kitchen counter nearest the door, absentmindedly shutting it with his toe. "Go and tell James then -"

"No!" The word snarls up and out of my throat.

Sirius takes a step towards me, our eyes locked. "That's your ticket out of this Rem. Tell James and there's nothing I can do."

"You know… It's illegal to blackmail somebody…" I mutter darkly.

He guffaws, "And what? You're going to call the police on me?"

I try to break our gaze… Try to look away from his compelling eyes… But I can't, I can't. I frown at him instead, trying to make it look like I really am angry at him. "You and James have absolutely no respect for rules."

"On the contraire my dear Moony, we have a healthy _dis_respect for them." he replies with a smirk.

I roll my eyes briefly, "Stop changing the subject! I am _not _going to some 'strip-club'-," I pretty much spit the word, wrinkling my nose at it, "-with you lot for several hours."

"Oh but you are," he says as he takes another step forward, "Unless you want me to tell James about-"

"No," I cut him off quickly, "I'll tell them myself when I'm ready to." Feeling utterly hopeless, I glare half-heartedly at him, "Sirius… be a friend! How would you feel if I made you watch men pole dancing."

His eyes glitter and he leers at me, "How do you know I wouldn't enjoy that?"

I back into another counter, my legs threatening to buckle as Sirius gets closer and closer, till we're almost nose to nose. "Please, Sirius, please…" I all but plead, my knuckles turning white as they grip the counter top tightly. Mainly pleading for him to stop teasing me, to stop twisting at my already bruised heart.

Sirius shakes his head, mouthing 'No' and then- then he's so close I can feel the heat radiating off him.

But the door opens.

I blink and Sirius is leaning past me, reaching for the tea bags, the kettle whistling in the background. I blink again and Peter is raiding the fridge, James stood chatting to Sirius.

Normal. So normal. No-one seems to realise I'm having a nervous break-down over here.

"The club won't be that bad," Sirius smiles hypnotically and I repress the urge to nod dumbly.

I don't particularly fancy watching Sirius ogling girls all night. There's only so much I can take before I'll snap and whilst I may have amazing self-control, I don't want to try it _that _far yet.

I shake my head at him instead, thank-fully clearing it slightly. "It's degrading Sirius. You three go on ahead but I'll- I'll just stay here."

Sirius rolls his eyes, "Dear little prudey Moony." He prods my stomach playfully, smiling slightly, "Why don't we go to a normal bar instead then?"

Letting the relief spread through me, I sag slightly. "Thanks." I don't see that twinkle in his eye…

"Yeah," Sirius continues, "Let's go to that bar you work in Moony."

Any colour I had regained, very quickly drains from my face.

_He wouldn__'__t__…__ Would he?_

**.x0x.**

Forced into a car with masked threats, I stare moodily into the rain. "I spend enough time at work, why do I have to go there on my time off?" I complain as I scowl at Sirius.

James pulls out onto the main road, glancing at Sirius and I in the mirror. I'm glaring, almost pleading with Sirius whilst Sirius just stares back, as though it amuses him.

Probably does, sick twat he is.

Peter's watching the other cars speed past, occasionally commenting on James' driving. James' mouth seems to tighten with every comment and I chuckle inwardly at Peter, who's well aware of what he's doing to poor old Prongs.

Sirius reaches his hand across, patting my thigh consolingly when my scowl turns to a death glare. Oh if only looks could kill… Or scorch at the very least.

My cheeks flare and I pointedly look out the window, doing my best to ignore the heat of his hand burning through his jeans…

"Right, we're here," announces James as the car comes to a halt some ten minutes later.

I say nothing, feeling too apprehensive of Sirius' plans. I feel rather sick actually. Sirius' hand slides back to his pocket as he jumps up excitedly, practically hopping out of the car.

He forces me in front and I walk through the pub door reluctantly, briefly contemplating running for it.

The barman's head snaps up as I walk in and his eyes light up as he thinks I'm alone. I look over my shoulder and realise that the others aren't behind me. Sirius' doing I expect. My stomach tumbles as I realise _exactly _what Richard (the barman) must think.

"Hey Remus, what you doing here?" he asks cheerfully, hardly containing his delight.

"Sirius," I state simply, feeling my own heart drop. Oh boy is Sirius going to pay.

Richard's eyes widen and then he grimaces when it sinks in. "…Is this about last night?" he chokes out eventually.

I shake my head and then James appears, dragging an unwilling Sirius behind him. Who had obviously hoped James and Peter would walk in on something more interesting than a conversation. "What about last night?" James inquires absentmindedly, heading to the bar.

"Nothing," I say smoothly, following him and taking the seat next to him, Sirius on my other side. We wait for Peter to get back from the toilet.

"So what can I get you gentlemen?" Richard (also my boss) asks, his eyes smirking as he leans on the counter in front of me. He seems to have recovered from his shock.

I wave my hand vaguely towards James and Sirius, indicating they're to order. Sirius is sat perfectly still, taking in Richard. James is looking around him, eyeing up several girls.

"We need to get you a girlfriend Remus," James announces suddenly, once he's ordered for us all.

The glass Richard's filling slides between his fingers and smashes on the floor, I laugh nervously. "No thanks James. I'll find one on my own."

Sirius snorts and his eyes flicker to linger on the crouched bar man.

But before James can comment on this, Richard puts a glass down in front of him, slightly harder than necessary. Sirius hands over the money and Richard puts it in the till, leaning against the back of the counter when it clicks shut. His eyes are trained on me, intense and unnerving.

I keep my gaze on the bar-top, tracing the pattern of the grain with a shaking finger. Sirius is tense beside me, one hand clenched in a fist as he's uncharacteristically silent. Peter finally comes back and sits down next to James, a frown flickering across his face as he reads the atmosphere.

I take a deep shuddering breath, glancing up at Richard and then at Sirius. "Why so quiet Padfoot?" I tease lightly.

"I was thinking of the best way to get you a girl…"

My heart is pounding as I groan quietly, once again peeking at Richard from the corner of my eye. "Sirius… No."

But he's smirking again and I know he's up to no good. His mind's calculating, his eyes flickering between James and Richard. "Come on Moony, it's about time you got laid."

I hear several sniggers as I blush furiously, "That's nothing to do with you Sirius. Just because you like to shag anything that moves doesn't mean the rest of us do."

He looms closer, putting one hand on my shoulder, the other on my knee, his eyes sparkling, "At least I _have_ been laid my dear."

I shake my head and twist from his grip, all too aware of Richard's eyes burning into my back. I don't want to get into this now…

"It's just a bit of fun," James insists. "You'll help us won't you Richard? I'm sure you know of girls that come in here. Which one would you say's right for our Remus?"

Richard's eyebrows fly into his hair, his eyes searching me, wondering why I haven't told them yet. "It's not a girl I'd be looking for if I were you," he replies dryly.

My head snaps towards him, I look at him desperately, my eyes begging…

James smirks and he elbows me, "We always used to say you were gay, remember?"

"I- I'm not _gay!__"_I splutter indignantly. Richard turns away sharply, but not quick enough to hide the look of pain that flashed across his face.

I feel awful instantly but I daren't back track. I have no plans to tell anyone just yet…

"Sure, sure." James mutters, like he doesn't particularly care about my sexuality all that much. "So which girl will you have then? One with the brown hair? Hmm… I see you as a black kinda guy actually." _You have no idea_, I think to myself. "Maybe that one that's dancing?"

I squirm uncomfortably, pouting at Sirius to save me. But somehow, I get the distinct impression he's enjoying my awkwardness.

"What do you think Richard?" James asks amiably, turning to the much amused barman.

"Definitely not," he shudders slightly, "The lasses you're pointing out are the ones that sleep with you first and ask questions later." I nod in agreement, slightly relieved that somebody's finally coming to my defence. "Maybe the girl that's sat down other there though. I keep telling Remus she likes him." Huh. So much for helping me.

I glare at him.

"No…" Sirius muses, "I can't see it."

I roll my eyes and take a huge gulp of my drink, very tempted to just drink till I can't remember my own name. Or pour it over Sirius' head.

"Why don't you go grab yourself a slut, Sirius?" I suggest, sounding slightly bitter as I stare glumly at my half-full glass.

He smiles lightly, patting my knee again, "I said lads night out and I meant lads night out."

"So why are you three trying to get me a girlfriend then!?" I demand, scowling.

"Because, my dearest Moony, it's about time you got a little _lurve._ Unless of course, you've been holding out on us."

Sirius Black is going to _die. _

"No," I hiss through my teeth, "I haven't." My eyes have narrowed almost dangerously and my heart is pounding once again, a mixture of anger and disbelief.

He shrugs, "All the same to me. If you don't wanna share your secrets with your very best friends then who am I to complain?" I feel my hand clench into a fist, and I fight the urge to punch him. "So we going to dance or just mope around here?"

"Mope," I reply immediately, feeling too angry to really care all that much.

But James and Peter head over to the dance floor with Sirius, leaving me with Richard for company.

"You, Remus, have a lot of explaining to do," Richard syas coolly the minute they've gone.

I sigh, sorely tempted to bang my head on the bar. "It's Sirius being a twat. I thought he could be all grown up about this but he won't be. He wants me to -"

"I can't let you sit here, sorry Rem, but I just can't." A hand is laid on my arm and I don't bother glancing up, my heart already racing. "At least have one dance with me."

I get the feeling he's enjoying himself. That he's almost _parading _the fact he's allowed to touch me in public. That he's teasing Richard. I haul myself off the stool and stand opposite Sirius, feeling like a nervous twelve year old again.

His soft tone and innocent expression are too much for me, and instead of giving him an earful like I intended to, I smile meekly. Sirius smiles encouragingly in reply and starts to tug me off to the dancers. I go to make a face at Richard but he's already turned away.

I sigh, "You're really not helping matters Sirius."

He grins, "Oh I know."

The song slows down to sway and Sirius holds me tighter to him, far enough away to be nothing but a friendly gesture yet close enough to feel like more. Part of me wants to rip my hands away from him, to run screaming. But most of me, most of me desires his touch. Most of me wants to be held in his arms forever.

"Please. At least try," I ask of him. One of his hands moves to rest against my chest, the other to the small of my back and it's clouding my thinking, everything seems hazy… Surreal…

But I make sure my hands stay firmly clamped to his shoulders. My self control is too weak already.

His head moves towards me and he rests his chin briefly on my shoulder, his breath tickling as he whispers, "Relax Moony… just forget where we are."

And it's intoxicating-

Alluring… It seems easy, just so easy to move one trembling hand to his hip and another to his neck, to twine in his hair.

I'm shaking. Fear. Desire. Both throbbing through my veins.

He blinks slowly, a lazy smile snaking it's way onto his mouth. "That's better," he mumbles, "But you needn't to keep yourself so straight and upright."

I try to relax into his hands, try to ease the tension from my back. But it's not complying and I give up, smiling apologetically at him instead.

We're swaying, just swaying on the spot when I realise we're being watched.

My head's close to resting on his chest and I pull us to a stop and stare straight back at James and Peter.

James is stood whispering to Wormtail behind his hand, pointing towards us. Despite the fact the music is drowning everything out, I hear him perfectly. "The way those two look, I think we'll be setting Moony and Padfoot up instead."

I freeze immediately and my forehead creases.

"I mean come on," James continues, "Just look at them! I don't think it could be any more obvious that Remus likes Sirius."

I forget how to breathe. I forget how to move. I stare at Sirius, horror struck. I gulp a few times but my mouth is dry and alarm bells are ringing loudly inside my mind.

Sirius looks at me questioningly and I gesticulate towards James and Peter before pushing away and fleeing to the toilet, my chest heaving.

My jaw set.

James can't notice. James can't know. Lily promised me she wouldn't tell a _soul__…_

And James isn't that observant. But some voice in the back of my mind drags all the memories of an insightful James to my attention.

No…

I shut the door of the cubicle behind me, sliding down to the floor. I rest my head against it, eyes squeezed shut. My body's on fire, my mind analyzing the past five minutes... Over and over again…

James can't know…

He just _can__'__t__…_

I was close, so close to letting my façade slip…

So close to _kissing _Sirius…

And some part of me argued that Sirius would probably urge me on, wouldn't offer any resistance at all. That he'd _let _me kiss him…

And there was another voice still, arguing that it would be because Sirius saw this as a challenge. A challenge to get me away from Richard.

"Are you alright Remus?" Sirius.

"No," I answer feebly, "I think I'm going mad."

"Why?"

"I'm hearing voices."

Silence. A muffled laugh. "I hear voices all the time," he assures me as he taps on the door. "Are you coming out or do I have to come in?"

"No," I reply huffily, "I don't want to come out and yet you seem to be forcing me."

It takes him a few seconds to process this, to process exactly what I mean.

"It was just a bit of fun Remus," he says quietly, almost sadly. "I thought it would make it easier to tell James."

I snort. "James."

Silence. Then - "He told me what he said-" I pull the door open roughly, Sirius almost falling on me as he over balances. "Is- Why did it bother you so much?"

We're face to face again. And he looks serious, as though he really cares. That, that gets me more than his joking would've. "I don't know," I try to lie. Try not to let him see.

But it doesn't work.

"Yes you do," he reaches out a hand and touches my cheek gently. I try not to flinch. "Come on, tell Aunty Padfoot."

"… thanks, Padfoot, for that delightfully disturbing image of you in women's clothing." I pretend to shudder, try to make my tone light.

"Flashback you mean?" he smiles too, gently pulling me out of the stall to stand in the middle of the room. "He was only joking, he doesn't -" he gulps, and _he_ looks nervous all of a sudden, "-he doesn't really think that we-. We should go out Moony."

My eyebrows snap up. Did he, did he just say that?

"Er- Pardon?" I'm fidgety again, hardly daring to let myself believe.

"He doesn't really think we should go out," he repeats, dead panned, his eyes flat as his hand drops limply back to his side.

My hope stutters and falls.

My shoulders sag, my face tightens and I lead the way from the room. My whole body seems to be throbbing and it feels unbearable… "Can we head back to yours? I want to be somewhere familiar when I tell them." I try to make my voice sound normal, try not to let my blank mask slip.

He casually lays an arm around my shoulders and we both blush. But he doesn't remove it. "Of course."

"You two been off shagging in the loos?" James jokes when we get near and I force myself to stay put, force myself not to react.

"Too right," Sirius replies with a huge smile as he plants a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

And I make a show of laughing and wiping my cheek, being the goofy friend again as I pretend that I'm not blushing, that my heart isn't accelerating.

Peter is grinning too, with an odd expression in his gaze as he watches us messing around. Intuition seems to be telling me that Peter knows more than he's letting on; I'm grateful for his silence. Awkward questions are not important to my existence

I pull away from them all, wondering back to the bar. "We're going," I say lightly, touching Richard's forearm. "I'm- I'm going to tell them."

He smiles warmly, leaning over the counter to rest his palm against my cheek. "Good," Richard says and then kisses me gently, enough force to remind me that I belong to him.

I feel the wolf's hackles rise at the idea of being owned and I pull back, suddenly nervous that my friends saw. But turning round, I see Sirius distracting them whilst he watches us with an almost pained expression.

"Behave Remus and I'll see you tomorrow when it's your shift," Richard kisses my knuckles and smiles a final time.

I nod distractedly, most of my attention focused on Sirius, "I'll try."

**.x0x.**

"Ahh Padfoot, crack open the Firewhiskey! I've had enough of this cheap muggle stuff," James announces as he strides into Sirius' house.

James spreads himself out on the sofa, Peter plops down on the floor leaving Sirius and I to squash into an armchair.

"Actually James, Peter, I want to tell you something," I say uncertainly.

Sirius nods encouragingly, that far away look in his eye that tells me he's reminiscing about something or other. Probably about last night, when he caught Richard and I snogging at the end of my shift.

Of course, Sirius had immediately assumed that Richard and I were an item. It had taken several long hours to make him understand that it was a spur of the moment thing and I was not sleeping with my boss.

Though Richard seemed to think we were together.

I hadn't thought anything of Sirius' reaction to be honest. Maybe I should've done…

The club had been deserted, with only Richard and I near the bar. He'd just pushed me against it when Sirius had walked in.

Sirius had gaped at us, clearing his throat with a nervous chuckle and gulping several times. Looking back, he'd been angry. So angry. Maybe, maybe _too _angry…

"Oh and what's that Moony?" James all but slurs, his eyes focusing on me with difficulty whilst Peter just smiles knowingly.

I snap out of my reverie and look to Sirius for encouragement. After briefly nibbling his lip, he takes my hand and causally links our fingers together, nodding at me to continue.

I take a deep breath. "I'm-" I start to say but I falter.

How hard can it be to simply say 'I'm gay.'?

Incredibly, apparently.

Sirius frowns slightly and I shrug, my eyebrows knitting together.

"Bloody hell Remus, I'm growing old over here!"

My mouth shapes the words and I try again, but this time my voice doesn't work and I squeak instead; Sirius quickly disguises his laugh as a cough. I nudge him with a scowl, mouthing 'Help!'.

He starts to smirk and I know he's been waiting for this opportunity. "I'm shagging him, James," Sirius drawls instantly, clearly taking delight in saying it. My body tenses.

"Who?"

"Remus."

"What about him?"

Sirius shakes his head, "Imbecile. I said, I'm shagging Moony. As in we're gay. Going out."

James rolls over, turning his back on us with a snort. "Good for you," he mutters sleepily before starting to snore. Poor lad… Probably think's it's some sort of joke.

Sirius smiles at me, "As simple as that."

I look at him dubiously. "Except he now thinks I'm sleeping with you," I point out, the words feeling -oh-so-delicious- on my tongue, "He thinks I've slept with you. He thinks we're _going _to sleep together-" I realise I'm starting babble and quickly force my mouth shut.

He seems to think about this, his head cocked to a side, "Well," he says slowly, yet sounding so sure of himself, "-we should. Then technically, we won't be lying to him when he wakes up with a very dim memory of me telling him this."

My heart stops.

Then takes off like a steam engine speeding down an empty track.

Now I definitely didn't miss-hear _that._

Forcing my face to remain masked and blank, I lean towards him, fighting a smile, "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting Padfoot?" I can't quite keep the desire out of my voice.

He leans even closer, twisting us slightly so he's straddling me. He grins and I find myself grinning in reply. He leans closer still, his mouth hovering just centimetres away.

"You have no idea," his voice is low and rough. We're trembling, lust and total want starting to take control. "_No _idea."

I want to make sure that he means it, that it's not some stupid, sad old game to see how many times he can hurt me in one night. "Are you-?"

But then we're kissing and I loose my train of thought.

Sirius being the only thing in my existence…

Sirius being the only thing to matter…

His lips, soft and warm…

His body, pressed so close…

His hand, curling on my cheek…

He pulls back, laughing breathlessly. "You can't possibly begin to understand how much I've being wanting to do that," he informs me, but I don't hear him. I can just see his lips moving and I wonder why they're not kissing me anymore.

But then, then they are… and his hand's inside my shirt… his tongue inside my mouth…

I can't stop thinking how perfect, how _wonderful _it feels.

My hand tightens in his hair and I open my eyes for a split second, briefly registering that James isn't asleep at all… that in fact, he doesn't look all that drunk…

Shit. James.

I push Sirius away slightly, my breathing laboured as he tries to kiss me again. But I force him to wait, force myself to wait, searching for words that I can't seem to find.

"James…" I manage eventually.

Looking adoramy bly puzzled, Sirius turns round in my lap. His jaw dropping as he realises James saw everything.

He chuckles nervously, one hand tightening protectively over my own.

Peter has long since passed out, never having being able to hold his drink well but I could swear a smile twitches at his lips…

James claps slowly, humourlessly. "I must say Padfoot old boy, I could've managed with just the worded explanation," he winces, "I really didn't need the demonstration too."

* * *

This is my apology for not updating or uploading in weeks! The holidays are over though, so hopefully I should get back into updating regularly.

Also, I'm in the middle of a BIG clearout of my fics. So if you get alerts for stories and they seem familiar, then they more than likely are. I'll write in the summary thing when it's been re-done. Some of them may be deleted too...

Okay, finally; I'm wanting to try and make my writing style better. I'm not at all happy with it and it doesn't help that my Fanfic style is different to my preferred style. So any hints, tips or suggestions you may have, DON'T HESITATE TO TELL ME!!

I mean it, let rip xD


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